Dukes of Awesome

1st pick – Leodis McKelvin – CB – Troy

Pros:

• Offers better coverage than AT&T, T-Mobile and Verizon. COMBINED.
• College highlight videos nearly as fun as LT’s
• Faster than the beer shits, WiFi
• Was violating that girl
  
• McGee/McKelvin secondary the best Irish tandem since Guinness and Harp
• Trojan Man means excellent protection
• Shares hometown (Waycross, GA) with Graham Parsons, Ossie Davis

Cons:

• Hands like rocks
• Trojan Man means you can’t feel a thing (Durex: Power is nothing without control)
• Not actually Irish
• Shares hometown with Burt Reynolds, Billy Beer*

Somehow, the Bills drafting Leodis McKelvin was a big surprise to draft pundits. The best corner in the draft – even if available – was projected to be passed over by the Bills. Obviously, someone underestimated the Ivy-league eggheads of the Bills braintrust. Which is OK by me.

I could expand on McKelvin’s history, but I found this one statistic, from his official Troy University bio, utterly astonishing:

Leads the Trojans in all-purpose yards despite having not taken an offensive snap.

Think about that. McKelvin was better than THE ENTIRE OFFENSE. I have no way to follow that with anything rational. FREAKING AWESOME.

* might be a plus